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How to Ask for Help When You’re a Perfectionist
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How to Ask for Help When You’re a Perfectionist
I’m writing a book. There, I’ve said it. So almost five years into the process, I guess it’s actually going to happen. If my book coach is still speaking to me.
The first sign of trouble came early on when she gave me a button to wear that says “Ask me about my book!” Since then, I contact her about […]
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Tired of Being Triggered? How to Not Lose It with the People You Love.
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Tired of Being Triggered? How to Not Lose It with the People You Love.
Is there anyone who hasn’t been triggered by someone about something this year? A near or flat-out rift with someone in your orbit from an alien value system? (more…)
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The Argument Antidote
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The Argument Antidote
“There’s absolutely no hope for this relationship,” I thought to myself, with a sinking feeling. (more…)
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Suicidal Thoughts? They’re Not a Good Predictor of Suicide
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Suicidal Thoughts? They’re Not a Good Predictor of Suicide
Thinking about suicide is not a very good predictor of a suicide attempt. Thinking about suicide isn’t even one of the eight big risk factors for a suicide attempt. (more…)
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The Problem with Relationships: We Crave Connection. That Seriously Freaks Us Out. Here’s How to Handle It.
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The Problem with Relationships: We Crave Connection. That Seriously Freaks Us Out. Here’s How to Handle It.
“We’re not close.” That was the elegantly simple way a distressed mother tearfully described her relationships with her grown children. (more…)
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My Father, Money and Me
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My Father, Money and Me
Several years ago, the church I attended tried something new. A member of the congregation, rather than the minister, would deliver the customary offertory message during the Sunday morning contemporary service. It’s the part of the worship service that involves the opening up of wallets, purses, and checkbooks — and nowadays maybe even an app on your […]
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When Mother’s Day Hurts
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When Mother’s Day Hurts
Whether it’s low contact or no contact, Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days of the year for mothers estranged from a son or daughter. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the current epidemic of estrangement from an adult child, it’s this. The ordinarily reliable norms and guidelines we use to navigate any other interpersonal breakdown successfully […]
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Boost Your Coping Skills with Both/And Thinking: The Pandemic and Beyond
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Boost Your Coping Skills with Both/And Thinking: The Pandemic and Beyond
Right after 9/11, my mentors, Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone wrote about their decision to make the three thousand mile drive from New York to their home in northern California. During their literally “from sea to shining sea” journey, they described how they saw everything from outpourings of unity, caring and generosity, to overt signs of hatred and calls […]