This year I started asking my clients three questions at the end of every counseling session. (more…)
Blindsided by Estrangement: Can You Love Your Child Right Out of Your Life?
Blindsided by Estrangement: Can You Love Your Child Right Out Of Your Life?
Abuse? Neglect? It’s easy to understand why an adult child decides to have nothing to do with a parent who subjected them to either.
Parental alienation from a messy divorce? When kids are forced to choose sides, it’s no surprise that adult-child estrangement is an unfortunate […]
How to Have a Breakthrough Without Going Through a Breakdown
“Why do you keep going back if it’s making you feel worse?” my boyfriend asked.
We were talking about one of the most unsettling experiences of my young adult life — don’t laugh — psychotherapy.
Estranged: When Holidays Hurt
Whether it’s low contact or no contact, the holidays can be some of the hardest days of the year for parents estranged from a son or daughter. (more…)
The Upside of a Self-Absorbed Mother
Along with all the downsides, I consider myself fortunate to have grown up with a self-absorbed mother. (My father was, too, but that’s another story.)
If you’ve ever seen a Tennessee Williams play, you’d recognize my mother right away. Whether it’s Blanche DuBois, Maggie the Cat, or Amanda Wingfield, my mother was a mashup of them all. Like all these […]
Suicidal Thoughts? They’re Not a Good Predictor of Suicide
Thinking about suicide is not a very good predictor of a suicide attempt. Thinking about suicide isn’t even one of the eight big risk factors for a suicide attempt. (more…)
When Mother’s Day Hurts
Whether it’s low contact or no contact, Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days of the year for mothers estranged from a son or daughter. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the current epidemic of estrangement from an adult child, it’s this. The ordinarily reliable norms and guidelines we use to navigate any other interpersonal breakdown successfully […]
Boost Your Coping Skills with Both/And Thinking: The Pandemic and Beyond
Right after 9/11, my mentors, Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone wrote about their decision to make the three thousand mile drive from New York to their home in northern California. During their literally “from sea to shining sea” journey, they described how they saw everything from outpourings of unity, caring and generosity, to overt signs of hatred and calls […]