Dr. Jan’s LifeWise Words of Wisdom
When life turns up the pressure—whether in your career, your relationships, or your family—you need more than surface-level advice. You need tools that work.
These blogs deliver clear, science-backed strategies to help you think sharply, stay grounded, and take meaningful action.
Whether you’re working to reconnect with an estranged child, strengthen your marriage under pressure, or navigate a pivotal career moment without losing your edge, you’ll find actionable insights here.
No fluff. No toxic positivity. Just real talk about growth, resilience, and lasting change.
Search to find more articles on EXECUTIVE LIFE COACHING, FAMILY ESTRANGEMENT COACHING, COUPLES COACHING, AND INDIVIDUAL THERAPY.
National Quitters Day Isn't About Quitting. It's About What You Tell Yourself Next
Quitting isn’t why resolutions fail. The real problem is believing change requires more discipline instead of a smarter understanding of how your brain works. When you stop shaming yourself and start interrupting autopilot, everything shifts.
You Don’t Need to Reinvent Yourself. You Just Need to Recalibrate.
Before you set new goals, pause.
This year-end reflection for high achievers shows how to reflect on what’s working, refocus your energy, and reset without pressure—so change actually sticks.
Why Self-Compassion Feels Dangerous to High Achievers—And Why It’s Actually Your Greatest Advantage
Think toughness drives success? Burnout isn’t proof you’re weak—it’s a signal you’re pushing the wrong way. Discover the science-backed strategies high achievers use to reset with compassion, recover faster, and lead smarter.
Is Your Greatest Strength Holding You Back?
Your strengths got you here—but now they may be holding you back. Find out why flipping to the opposite extreme doesn’t work, and how a subtle shift can unlock lasting change.
How to Find the Right Therapist: The One Question That Matters Most
Feeling stuck, burned out, or just not yourself? Learn the one question that determines whether therapy will work—and why it’s not what you think. Discover how real change starts with the right connection.
Change Without Losing Yourself: Why Real Reinvention Doesn't Mean Starting from Scratch
Reinvention doesn’t mean trading in your personality—it means expanding your range. Discover the five mindset shifts high-achievers use to grow without losing their identity.
Unlock the Surprising Science Behind Habit Change: Curiosity Beats Willpower
Discover why curiosity, not willpower, is the key to breaking stubborn habit loops. In this article, Dr. Jan Anderson explains how to rewire your brain’s reward system and create lasting, positive change—without the usual struggle.
Self-Compassion is the New Self-Esteem: How to Not Be So Mean to Yourself.
Discover how three simple questions at the end of each therapy session can dramatically improve your counseling experience. This article delves into the concept of self-compassion, debunking common misconceptions and offering practical exercises. Learn how cultivating self-compassion can lead to better relationships, improved self-esteem, and a more fulfilling life.
How to Have a Breakthrough Without Going Through a Breakdown
Ever wondered why therapy can feel unsettling yet rewarding? This article delves into the neuroscience of change, explaining why discomfort often precedes breakthroughs. Learn about the RAIN technique and how it can help you navigate personal growth without overwhelming stress. Discover how to embrace change and achieve meaningful transformations.
Mom Guilt? How to Give Yourself — and Your Loved Ones — a Break.
Mom guilt: a universal yet rarely discussed challenge of modern motherhood. This article explores the evolutionary roots of maternal guilt, its impact on marriages, and its manifestation across cultures. Learn strategies to balance your role as a mother with your personal identity, and discover how overcoming guilt can strengthen family relationships.
Estranged: When Holidays Hurt
Holidays can be particularly painful for parents estranged from adult children. Dr. Jan Anderson provides compassionate insight into this 'silent epidemic,' offering strategies to cope, maintain hope, and work towards reconnection. Learn how to navigate this challenging time while fostering personal growth and resilience.
The Upside of a Self-Absorbed Mother
In this candid reflection, Dr. Jan Anderson uncovers the surprising benefits of growing up with a self-absorbed mother. Through poignant anecdotes and professional insights, she illustrates how challenging childhood experiences can cultivate resilience, independence, and self-awareness. Discover how embracing the complexities of difficult family dynamics can lead to personal growth and emotional healing.
How to Ask for Help When You're a Perfectionist
Perfectionists, take heart! Dr. Jan Anderson offers a candid look at her own struggle with perfectionism while writing a book, revealing valuable strategies for seeking help without compromising your self-image. Learn how to reframe 'asking for help' as a strength, not a weakness, and discover face-saving techniques that make reaching out for support more palatable. This insightful guide shows how even the most accomplished professionals can benefit from counseling and coaching.
Tired of Being Triggered? How to Not Lose It with the People You Love.
Navigating emotional triggers in relationships can feel like walking through a minefield. Dr. Jan Anderson offers a therapist's perspective on staying calm when tensions run high. Learn counterintuitive yet effective strategies to manage your emotions, from embracing feelings to practicing self-compassion. Discover how these techniques can transform difficult conversations and strengthen your relationships, even in the most challenging times.
The Argument Antidote
Think some conflicts are unsolvable? Think again. Dr. Jan Anderson shares insights from relationship experts on how to navigate perpetual disagreements without damaging your partnership. Learn practical, counterintuitive techniques to address issues constructively, enhance communication, and strengthen your bond. Discover why love alone isn't enough and how mastering these skills can transform your relationship, even when facing seemingly insurmountable differences.
Suicidal Thoughts? They're Not a Good Predictor of Suicide
Suicidal thoughts are more common than you might think, but they're not always the best predictor of suicide attempts. Dr. Jan Anderson delves into the nuances of suicide prevention, sharing professional insights and personal experiences. Learn why connection trumps technique in crisis intervention, how to approach someone in distress, and the surprising role of the 'inner critic' in suicidal ideation. This compassionate exploration offers a fresh perspective on supporting those struggling with thoughts of suicide.
Boost Your Coping Skills with Both/And Thinking: The Pandemic and Beyond
In a world of polarizing viewpoints, both/and thinking offers a powerful alternative. Dr. Jan Anderson delves into this transformative cognitive approach, sharing insights from personal experiences and mentors. Discover how expanding your 'container' to hold conflicting ideas can lead to better decision-making, improved relationships, and enhanced resilience in times of crisis. Whether you're navigating personal conflicts or global uncertainties, this guide provides practical strategies to cultivate a more nuanced and adaptable mindset.

